[Has Cohle ever apologized to him? The man struggles with giving an apology where it’s actually due. It’s strange to see him apologizing for absolutely nothing. He’ll play this out a little, though, to try to get a better idea of what’s going on.]
Oh! Yeah, he seemed really happy when he was able to bring food and water to us at the cell block. He seems like he cares about people, just kind of struggles with it, you know? That’s why I’ve been worried. There’s a lot going on here with people getting hurt and more kids showing up.
[Hair prickles at the back of Martin’s neck. He remembers Ben’s fit at the cell block, ordering Kokichi out. Nothing had happened, but Martin had done his best to listen for trouble. Erratic. That’s one of Ben’s traits that he’s observed. On full blast and then flipping. And always listening on the radio.
And he’s a cop. His mind turns to Daisy, and his lips thin.]
I think we all need something to focus on. Ben’s sharp when he’s not in his own head, it seems like. Reminds me of someone I know from home.
[God, he wishes he had a better way to speak in code with Cohle. The other man seems to be making an effort to. But Martin hopes he can get his own point across. He hears. He understands. It’s just hard to picture Ben going out of his head in a violent way. Maybe an emotional one?
But the police are the police. The ones he knows are absolutely vicious when they need or want to be. And if the guy really is like Daisy… Dying might have pushed him to the breaking point.]
No kids hurt, yet. Not that I’ve seen, but there’s someone who got hit with a bear trap??? I don’t want anyone else getting caught. Especially not by something so unexpected. You’ll be careful, right?
Yeah, we helped patch her up. Whoever left the trap didn't want her dead, though. Just pliant. [ What does de Guzman want with him? Hell, maybe it is the same thing. Someone to be in control of. ]
Who’s he remind you of? [ Seems like a risk to ask with de Guzman reading over his shoulder, but who doesn't like hearing about themselves? ]
Another police officer, actually! Detective Daisy Tonner. She was really good at her job. Just kind of got scary when she lost her temper. I wasn't able to really pay a lot of attention while I was recovering in the cellblock. But he got really mad at Kokichi while we were there. I think he got hurt or sick while he was coming up to meet us. Just sort of high emotions all around, I think? Still, worried about him. And you.
[God, he hopes he's being opaque enough for Ben, but clear enough for Cohle, if something really is going on here.]
How are you doing after your stint in lock-up? Feels a little like the walls are closing in here for me. Better to have the shelter, but... Trying not to feel too trapped. Is it bad for you, too? I'm kind of scared it's not going to go away.
[ Lalo snorts as he reads that response. "So what?" he says. "He thinks I'm like a chick?"
Even as he says it, dismissively, the wheels in Lalo's brain are turning. It sounds like Martin might not be onto him as much as Lalo had initially feared, if this is Martin's assessment of "Ben". Good.
"Alright," he says, reaching to take the walkie from Rust with a faux-gentleness that threatens to become rough at a moment's notice. "You can have this back in a second."
He hopes the casualness with which he says that disguises the earlier subtle darkening of his expression, the shame in his eyes when Martin brings up what happened with Kokichi.
And then he starts to type on Rust's device! Even though this response is being typed by Lalo, it will still come from callsign RE419S. ]
What are walls, Martin? Sometimes I think houses are a blessing and a curse. What keeps you safe also keeps you trapped. Are walls just prison bars made solid? Or are they our saviors? Trick question. Humanity can't be saved. From rain or walls. What I do know is that everything goes away but everything stays forever. Time is a social construct, brother. Everything already happened. But that's okay, because that means it also never happened. You have to free your mind. Broaden it beyond the horizon. Go beyond the walls in your mind. It's mind walls that keep us safe from the storms inside ourselves. But we can't be safe and still grow. You have to expand your mind beyond its walls, Martin. I believe you can do it.
Told Ben what you said. He laughed, said "really?" Says you remind him of someone too. A man by the name of Gustavo Fring. Real polite, real nerdy guy. Pillar of the community type. Owns his own business. Gives to charity. Smart guy, too. Seems real nice. But I guess there's more to him he doesn't like to show anyone. A real Jekyll and Hyde situation. Apparently he's a person of interest in some case Ben is working on. Couldn't give specifics, ongoing investigation and all that.
[The word is said softly, out loud to himself as Martin's heart rate picks up. This is bad. Something bad is happening right now. Ben is reading Cohle's private messages and pretending to be him. Why? What's going on?]
Oh, gosh! Now you're reminding me of someone else. :P This weird old guy who came into the Institute once. He kept going on about needing to look at the big picture in everything and broaden your horizons. He also tried to talk to me about roller coasters??? And how he dreamed about getting flung off of them and flying. I think he might have been on drugs, come to think of it. I get what you're trying to say, though. I'll try to keep my spirits up. And work on getting out there. Once the weather lets up, I want to start working on the waystation thing. Any chance you're near the north end of the island? I was thinking I could start from the farthest point from the airbase to set things up. And if you can find any good spots to set it up? That'd be a lifesaver.
Not sure what to think about that comparison. Afraid I'm not really a pillar of anything. Or... a Jekyll and Hyde? Not that anyone's mentioned!
[ There's a bit of a pause as Rust reads over the sheer fucking drivel spouted on his behalf, wonders why he bothered, and lands on the name. Fring. Deja vu's hardening to certainty—Beth, Chile—when he's all-too-gently instructed to talk, to misdirect. ]
Ah, we moved on from there. More to the west, pretty dense jungle. Safer that way. But I can tell you—out by the cabin, there's a bird he gets feathers from, for the arrows. Called a skua, kind of a grey-white. They're scavengers, hooked beaks. Nest on the ground. Tricky fuckers.
Now I don't know how wide they range on the island, but someone shows up, sees them—that'd be their cue to get the hell out.
Having a little trouble hearing with the thunder and lightning! Sorry. :( But birds. Right! I'll keep that in mind.
Oh, one other thing, I know you're in the jungle right now, but if you do happen to go along the shore after the storm... Could you keep an eye out for my boyfriend? Jon. I know it's been weeks and everything. But with the storm and people finding things. I found this bottle of alcohol even! He's out there. I know he is. You remember what I told you about him, right? These things don't save messages. He's really tall, taller than me. Like north of 6 feet. And this really chiseled jaw, like you'd see in an old western. Mum loved John Wayne. God, Jon'd look hot in cowboy clothes. Leather chaps... Sorry! Right, so that and then he's got this sort of windswept dark hair and skin. Sort of Eastern European, I guess? Dark, dark eyes, too, almost black. I think I told you about all of those things? But there it is again, just in case. Promise me you'll check? Please?
[He's hoping, again, that Cohle might be able to guess at what he's going for. Say no to the 'direction' that's wrong.]
[ The device is yoinked from Cohle's hands once again as Lalo reads over it, and snorts derisively.
At first.
He keeps reading. Thunder crashes in the background, but Lalo seems oblivious. His eyes dilate just slightly.
Cohle knows, right? He's gotta know. Lalo feels the deep sting of embarrassment at that realization. Suddenly conscious of just how close his and Cohle's bodies are pressed — out of sheer necessity, for warmth — Lalo reads Martin's missive with rapt attention.
He hadn't paid much attention the first time, when Martin was talking about Jon, but now, pink in the cheeks, he reads. A gust of wind howls behind him somewhere, but as his eyes dart sideways to look at his hostage, there's a slightly dreamy look before he turns back to the device, typing quickly. ]
Let you know if I see 'em. How'd you two meet, again? Did you tell me that before? Don't remember. No way to take notes on this thing.
What? Martin squints at the message, confused. Is this Ben again? Trying to test him? Did he tell Ben about meeting Jon? He should have kept better track of that. Or maybe it's Rust fishing for another direction? Why does this have to be so complicated? They need a 'I'm in distress' phrase.]
At work. It was after I'd moved down south to London. Can't remember if I told you about being up in Manchester. That's where I'm from originally.
He was actually my boss. But we didn't start dating until we both quit the Institute! It was never weird or anything. I accidentally let a stray dog into the Archives on my first day and I ran into him while I was trying to find it. 'Mr. Sims' was not happy about that. He gets this adorable little furrow in his brow when he's puffing himself up to yell at you.
[ He never told "Ben" about Jon, not directly, but it's a safe bet that there's a chance "Ben" knows about anything you've said publicly, to anyone.
The dog story is typical boring meet-cute shit, and Lalo rolls his eyes. The shit about Jon being his boss is kinda hot, though. An unhealthy power imbalance is always sexy as hell. Lalo looks again, hopefully covertly, at Rust. Then at Martin's previous message about leather chaps.
He thinks about John Wayne. Cohle's South Texas accent.
All of it inspires thoughts that make Lalo hate his own sexuality a little bit, but that doesn't change the fact that he is enjoying it, on some level. He's trapped, torn between the desire to hear even more - 'is he a good kisser? who made the first move?' - and knowing Cohle would never ask those kinds of questions or care about the answers. ]
Ok. I'll keep an eye out for him. Thanks for the info. Gonna hit the hay. Take care.
[ His heartbeat is racing. He can feel the blood rushing to certain parts of his body and has to adjust, to make sure Cohle can't feel it. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-08-08 05:59 pm (UTC)Oh! Yeah, he seemed really happy when he was able to bring food and water to us at the cell block.
He seems like he cares about people, just kind of struggles with it, you know?
That’s why I’ve been worried.
There’s a lot going on here with people getting hurt and more kids showing up.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-08 06:59 pm (UTC)Nothing written. ] He’s a hell of a cook. Quick study with a blade. I think it’s a matter of needing something to focus his attention on.
How many hurt? [ A pause, but de Guzman fucking asked him about kids, he’ll know something’s up if he doesn’t— ] How many kids?
no subject
Date: 2023-08-08 09:33 pm (UTC)And he’s a cop. His mind turns to Daisy, and his lips thin.]
I think we all need something to focus on.
Ben’s sharp when he’s not in his own head, it seems like.
Reminds me of someone I know from home.
[God, he wishes he had a better way to speak in code with Cohle. The other man seems to be making an effort to. But Martin hopes he can get his own point across. He hears. He understands. It’s just hard to picture Ben going out of his head in a violent way. Maybe an emotional one?
But the police are the police. The ones he knows are absolutely vicious when they need or want to be. And if the guy really is like Daisy… Dying might have pushed him to the breaking point.]
No kids hurt, yet.
Not that I’ve seen, but there’s someone who got hit with a bear trap???
I don’t want anyone else getting caught.
Especially not by something so unexpected.
You’ll be careful, right?
no subject
Date: 2023-08-12 02:49 am (UTC)Who’s he remind you of? [ Seems like a risk to ask with de Guzman reading over his shoulder, but who doesn't like hearing about themselves? ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-12 02:59 am (UTC)Detective Daisy Tonner.
She was really good at her job.
Just kind of got scary when she lost her temper.
I wasn't able to really pay a lot of attention while I was recovering in the cellblock.
But he got really mad at Kokichi while we were there.
I think he got hurt or sick while he was coming up to meet us.
Just sort of high emotions all around, I think?
Still, worried about him.
And you.
[God, he hopes he's being opaque enough for Ben, but clear enough for Cohle, if something really is going on here.]
How are you doing after your stint in lock-up?
Feels a little like the walls are closing in here for me.
Better to have the shelter, but...
Trying not to feel too trapped.
Is it bad for you, too?
I'm kind of scared it's not going to go away.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-14 08:47 pm (UTC)Even as he says it, dismissively, the wheels in Lalo's brain are turning. It sounds like Martin might not be onto him as much as Lalo had initially feared, if this is Martin's assessment of "Ben". Good.
"Alright," he says, reaching to take the walkie from Rust with a faux-gentleness that threatens to become rough at a moment's notice. "You can have this back in a second."
He hopes the casualness with which he says that disguises the earlier subtle darkening of his expression, the shame in his eyes when Martin brings up what happened with Kokichi.
And then he starts to type on Rust's device! Even though this response is being typed by Lalo, it will still come from callsign RE419S. ]
What are walls, Martin?
Sometimes I think houses are a blessing and a curse.
What keeps you safe also keeps you trapped.
Are walls just prison bars made solid? Or are they our saviors?
Trick question.
Humanity can't be saved.
From rain or walls.
What I do know is that everything goes away but everything stays forever.
Time is a social construct, brother.
Everything already happened. But that's okay, because that means it also never happened.
You have to free your mind. Broaden it beyond the horizon.
Go beyond the walls in your mind.
It's mind walls that keep us safe from the storms inside ourselves.
But we can't be safe and still grow. You have to expand your mind beyond its walls, Martin. I believe you can do it.
Told Ben what you said.
He laughed, said "really?"
Says you remind him of someone too.
A man by the name of Gustavo Fring.
Real polite, real nerdy guy. Pillar of the community type. Owns his own business. Gives to charity.
Smart guy, too. Seems real nice.
But I guess there's more to him he doesn't like to show anyone. A real Jekyll and Hyde situation.
Apparently he's a person of interest in some case Ben is working on.
Couldn't give specifics, ongoing investigation and all that.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-14 09:04 pm (UTC)[The word is said softly, out loud to himself as Martin's heart rate picks up. This is bad. Something bad is happening right now. Ben is reading Cohle's private messages and pretending to be him. Why? What's going on?]
Oh, gosh! Now you're reminding me of someone else. :P
This weird old guy who came into the Institute once.
He kept going on about needing to look at the big picture in everything and broaden your horizons.
He also tried to talk to me about roller coasters???
And how he dreamed about getting flung off of them and flying.
I think he might have been on drugs, come to think of it.
I get what you're trying to say, though.
I'll try to keep my spirits up.
And work on getting out there.
Once the weather lets up, I want to start working on the waystation thing.
Any chance you're near the north end of the island?
I was thinking I could start from the farthest point from the airbase to set things up.
And if you can find any good spots to set it up?
That'd be a lifesaver.
Not sure what to think about that comparison.
Afraid I'm not really a pillar of anything.
Or... a Jekyll and Hyde?
Not that anyone's mentioned!
no subject
Date: 2023-08-15 10:21 pm (UTC)Ah, we moved on from there. More to the west, pretty dense jungle. Safer that way. But I can tell you—out by the cabin, there's a bird he gets feathers from, for the arrows. Called a skua, kind of a grey-white. They're scavengers, hooked beaks. Nest on the ground. Tricky fuckers.
Now I don't know how wide they range on the island, but someone shows up, sees them—that'd be their cue to get the hell out.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-16 03:27 am (UTC)Sorry. :(
But birds. Right!
I'll keep that in mind.
Oh, one other thing, I know you're in the jungle right now, but if you do happen to go along the shore after the storm...
Could you keep an eye out for my boyfriend?
Jon.
I know it's been weeks and everything.
But with the storm and people finding things.
I found this bottle of alcohol even!
He's out there.
I know he is.
You remember what I told you about him, right?
These things don't save messages.
He's really tall, taller than me.
Like north of 6 feet.
And this really chiseled jaw, like you'd see in an old western.
Mum loved John Wayne.
God, Jon'd look hot in cowboy clothes.
Leather chaps...
Sorry!
Right, so that and then he's got this sort of windswept dark hair and skin.
Sort of Eastern European, I guess?
Dark, dark eyes, too, almost black.
I think I told you about all of those things?
But there it is again, just in case.
Promise me you'll check?
Please?
[He's hoping, again, that Cohle might be able to guess at what he's going for. Say no to the 'direction' that's wrong.]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-16 05:04 pm (UTC)At first.
He keeps reading. Thunder crashes in the background, but Lalo seems oblivious. His eyes dilate just slightly.
Cohle knows, right? He's gotta know. Lalo feels the deep sting of embarrassment at that realization. Suddenly conscious of just how close his and Cohle's bodies are pressed — out of sheer necessity, for warmth — Lalo reads Martin's missive with rapt attention.
He hadn't paid much attention the first time, when Martin was talking about Jon, but now, pink in the cheeks, he reads. A gust of wind howls behind him somewhere, but as his eyes dart sideways to look at his hostage, there's a slightly dreamy look before he turns back to the device, typing quickly. ]
Let you know if I see 'em. How'd you two meet, again? Did you tell me that before? Don't remember. No way to take notes on this thing.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-16 07:47 pm (UTC)What? Martin squints at the message, confused. Is this Ben again? Trying to test him? Did he tell Ben about meeting Jon? He should have kept better track of that. Or maybe it's Rust fishing for another direction? Why does this have to be so complicated? They need a 'I'm in distress' phrase.]
At work.
It was after I'd moved down south to London.
Can't remember if I told you about being up in Manchester.
That's where I'm from originally.
He was actually my boss.
But we didn't start dating until we both quit the Institute!
It was never weird or anything.
I accidentally let a stray dog into the Archives on my first day and I ran into him while I was trying to find it.
'Mr. Sims' was not happy about that.
He gets this adorable little furrow in his brow when he's puffing himself up to yell at you.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-16 09:54 pm (UTC)The dog story is typical boring meet-cute shit, and Lalo rolls his eyes. The shit about Jon being his boss is kinda hot, though. An unhealthy power imbalance is always sexy as hell. Lalo looks again, hopefully covertly, at Rust. Then at Martin's previous message about leather chaps.
He thinks about John Wayne. Cohle's South Texas accent.
All of it inspires thoughts that make Lalo hate his own sexuality a little bit, but that doesn't change the fact that he is enjoying it, on some level. He's trapped, torn between the desire to hear even more - 'is he a good kisser? who made the first move?' - and knowing Cohle would never ask those kinds of questions or care about the answers. ]
Ok. I'll keep an eye out for him. Thanks for the info. Gonna hit the hay. Take care.
[ His heartbeat is racing. He can feel the blood rushing to certain parts of his body and has to adjust, to make sure Cohle can't feel it. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-19 01:20 am (UTC)Don't get swept away.